The
commander took me to a waterfront restaurant as soon as it
opened for dinner. We seated ourselves at one of the six or
eight sidewalk tables and I picked up the menu. From my memory,
it looked something like this:
The
commander graciously offered to pick up the tab and recommended
the lobster. But we had eaten aboard ship, which served dinner
early, so I decided on the surefire Italian spaghetti, salad,
bread, and a glass of wine. The commander ordered the same
and after the waiter left, he said: "Okay, now it starts.
Check your watch for time. See how long it takes to get served.
Also notice these customers arriving and ordering subsequently
to us and see who gets served first. And observe that we are
the only Americans, with our short haircuts, at any of the
tables. If others arrive, notice how long it takes them, too,
to get served."
I
watched. It was easy. We were flat-out last to be served;
even though all the other tables had filled-up after we arrived.
No other Americans showed up.
After
being served, finally, and eating, I ordered a bottle of wine;
we sat sipping until closing time. (Sometimes you have to
give your all on these detective assignments.) When a waiter
finally told us politely that they were closing, I asked to
see the owner. Unlike the food, he appeared at once. I introduced
myself and the commander, explained my peace-seeking mission,
and mentioned the late table-service problem.
He
was silent and thoughtful. Then with an action of decision,
he graciously ordered another bottle of wine and took a chair
at our table. After the wine came and he poured, he sat back
and pointed to his eyeglasses. In excellent English, he asked,
"Do you see the broken eyepiece in my glasses?"
I
allowed that I did. He spoke. "It was broken last night
in a fight with some of your sailors over this very same issue.
May I explain?"
He
waited for my response. I nodded eagerly. He turned to the
commander for additional approval. "Yes, yes," insisted
the commander, obviously surprised that there could be any
legitimate excuse for the ill-treatment of Americans.
"You
see," he said, leaning forward on both elbows obviously
emotionally involved but very much in control of himself.
"We have tourists from all over Europe and now you new
Americans. At first, I was delighted with your arrival because
I am very much opposed to communism. But soon a big problem
arose with you as customers. May I tell you what it is?"
"Yes,
that's what we came to learn," I asserted again, thinking
maybe he did not understand English as well as he spoke it.
"Why would you hesitate?" I asked, now a little
bewildered if not annoyed.
"Because,
I know it will offend you; because both of you also suffer
from the same problem. And in my culture, at least, it is
very insulting."
"Try
us," I offered. And trying to keep the conversation friendly,
I added: "I'll bet you that last glass of wine that we
will not be insulted."
"Well,"
he said, "it is because you Americans are so stingy."
That comment, of all possible comments, offended me. I felt
my face flush. It surprised me so much that after a momentary
flash of anger, it made me laugh, because I did feel insulted
and knew that I dared not speak. I looked at the commander.
His knuckles were turning white as he held his glass of wine.
I could see that his tightening grip was going to break off
the stem.
Gaining
my composure and stifling my disgust at this obviously contrived
allegation and therefore intentional insult, I picked up the
wine bottle, shook my head in disbelief, and emptied the last
drink into the restaurant owner's glass saying, "Alright,
you win the bet."
Hoping
to find a soft spot in the man's apparent anti-Americanism,
I probed with these comments: "You know," I advised,
"I have worked all over this world on our so-called Ugly
American problem. I am admitting to you that we seem to have
trouble everywhere. But the one thing I have never heard us
called before is stingy. In fact, on the contrary, of all
the complaints, the opposite of stingy is one of the most
familiar. It is said that we are wasteful spendthrifts, careless
buyers who don't know how to bargain, and consequently thoughtless
persons who inflate prices for local people everywhere. For
God's sakes, can you please explain why anyone would ever
call us stingy?"
"Yes,"
he said, "you see our tourist season is only a few months
long. But we have to earn enough to feed our families all
year. Yet you Americans are all the same. You come in here
every evening before any of the Europeans arrive, take our
few tables, and order only spaghetti and wine. All of the
European tourists order the entire meal. That's how we make
our money: from those who order a full dinner. But since you
Americans arrived, we have lost money instead of being able
to save for the dead season. It is as simple as that."
I
was delighted and laughed. I knew I saw the answer at once.
Do you see it? The main clue is on the menu.
I
was so pleased that I had to hold back from blurting out the
answer else it seem superficial. It was the only time in twenty
years of work that an important answer had come easily. I
promised and guaranteed to solve the problem absolutely within
a week if he had time for one more bottle of wine. Eagerly
he ordered it and pulled his chair over closer to me as people
do in the traditional cultures. He advised: "If you can
actually solve this, you will change everything for the future
of your Americans here. The owners of all the restaurants
have been having meetings. We were going to do something because
delaying the service was not working. It was just causing
fights."
Requesting
a menu from a waiter, I laid it in front of the owner.
"I
don't really know much about menus in the best restaurants,"
I advised. "But I know about young enlisted military
men. I used to be one. I come from the same American working
class that most Navy persons do. And to me, this is what we
would call an a la carte menu from which you are expected
to pick and choose freely. There is no indication on it at
all that one is expected to order a full dinner. To us, this
sidewalk atmosphere is very casual, like a sidewalk coffee
shop. These sailors are not tight. I'm sure if you would ask
some, you would find that they tend to think of themselves
as big spenders. But like me, who ordered only spaghetti tonight,
they eat an early meal aboard ship, then they come here actually
wanting to be friendly. They all love spaghetti; it's one
of our favorite dishes in America. But it is considered a
main course dish. Just change all of your English menus. Put
in only one price at the bottom of everything, allowing certain
substitutions ... et cetera."
He
saw the point but showed skepticism. He clearly wanted to
believe me but finally rejected my explanation:
"They
know," he insisted. "They know they are supposed
to order the entire meal. How could they not know when the
tourists from every country in Europe all know?"
"Because,"
I countered, "the international tourist set is definitely
a different breed of cat from us working Americans. I don't
know why the European tourists understand, despite that menu;
it probably comes from their own culture or class. Or maybe
it is just that they are hungry. But our guys definitely do
not know better. I didn't, and I came here to try to solve
the fighting problem. So you must realize that, except out
of ignorance, I would not have committed the exact mistake
that was causing the fights."
I
could see him starting to believe me. He looked at the commander
who nodded an affirmative. The owner began to study the menu.
"Okay,"
he said and made some kind of an Italian hand sign of pleasure
that I did not understand.
"Tell
all the other restaurant owners," I added. "Change
all the menus and I guarantee you I'll stay on this island
until the problem is solved or we drink up all the wine."
He laughed and agreed. I was positive the problem was already
solved.
We
went back to the ship and had a good laugh explaining the
matter to the ship's captain. We also made certain the misunderstanding
was corrected from the American side, just in case the restaurant
owners failed to act.
Now,
most important for understanding the real key to finding a
solution was the conviction that an answer could be found.
Humans all over the world are all alike; we possess the same
reasoning ability. The commander communicated to me the same
idea by admitting that he had not solved the simple little
problem for only one reason: He had assumed there was no answer
except either to avoid the restaurants or else win the fights.
A
couple of the few outstanding scholars in this neglected field
worked with me during those fascinating few days on lovely
La Maddalena, the professors Donahue from USIU in San Diego.
On that island, we did it right. Before the main body of Americans
arrived, we conducted a quick attitude study of the key dislikes
on both sides. The Donahues stayed a while longer and helped
the Navy team get specific answers to the negatives, rather
than typically, just talk about the positives (which need
no comments), and plan a good, total, mutual-respect program.
A
year or so later, I heard that the Little America
on La Maddalena was considered by the Navy to be one of the
most successful bi-national communities in the world. The
chief credit must go to the dedicated persons themselves who
lived there and worked it out. Still, that crucial little
bit of detective work that we did there, I suspect, gave it
a hopeful rather than an almost hopeless beginning. The restaurant
owner advised me, "It's good you came. The menu was such
a little thing. Yet Communist agitation was starting,
and in our anger, we were starting to listen. They are spreading
rumors about that ship out there and what it is probably carrying.
It was getting very bad."
Above
from pages 185 - 190
Dr.
Robert L. Humphrey's
VALUES FOR A NEW MILLENNIUM
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